Writing III Narative I

Being in Love, Be Retarded

“Love is not blind, its retarded” it’s an old proverb that spreads among the net society where I usually logged in to chat with others, and I fully agree with that since its true about how love can makes you to do silly things. Being in love will stop your brain from thinking rationally, everything that you know and planned will be wiped out by your “feelings” and you will act irrational with “because I’m in love” as your reason. Your way of thinking will also reduced from objective to subjective. Why? “Because I’m in love” is what they will answer, the world will stuck with you and revolve around you and your beloved ones only, her/his happiness will be yours too while your pain will be yours only, trust me because it’s true. I really am feeling uncomfortable when there are people dating around me, I feel left out since I’m single and all just enjoying themselves, they also started at me with pity and think of me as a nuisance, and it’s totally awkward to be in the same place as them.

I’m a student of English Education Department (EED) of Faculty of Language and Art (FBS) which is part of Ganesha university of education (Undiksha), for me it’s not a surprising thing to see people dating at the FBS’s lobby especially on Saturday or Sunday. I think the lobby has somewhat turned into a popular dating spot for reasons god only knows why, not only the upperclassmen but even my classmate comes there frequently. It was 2 month ago when I experienced something that is quite unpleasant regarding this matter, I was working on my writing assignment back then when a couple of student come to the lobby, a boy and a girl holding hand walking toward the place I sat and they finally sit right beside me. 2 hours passed and it was pretty tiring to see people dating, laughing and enjoying themselves without even considering the place or people around them, I hardly concentrated on my assignment because they were very noisy and I also somewhat find it was annoying. After that I decided to leave since I lost my mood to continue on my works, I really am uncomfortable with people who tactlessly dating around me.

On another day, I met the same couple when I made promise to do my other assignment my groups at the lobby; they started to stare at me who decide to sit on the other side of the lobby. At first I feel nothing since I has no ill intention to interrupt  their date, but soon noises start to fill the lobby, they started to get serious and my headphones can’t even block the noise they made. I took a glance at them and I saw the girl’s eyes, she gave me a faint smile, after that I tried to finish my assignment as fast as possible so that I won’t be a nuisance for them. However, I was feeling so thirsty so I took a bottle of water from my backpack, but the bottle slipped away and fell with a hard sound, “Crap!!” I murmured as I realize that the boy stared at me with half surprised and half pissed expression on his face. Not too long, another couple arrived and started at me, Oh I was so ashamed… if I know it will work this way I prefer to stay at home that day. I left shortly after I finish my works.

It really was awkward to be in the same place as people who are dating, you will feel that the air is heavy and you will feel suffocated because you think of yourself as a nuisance. I met other couple on another day, they dating at the lobby just when I waited for my friends. The boy was friendly and greeted me while the girl offered snacks, they were very kind to me and I really am grateful for that.  However, its so awkward when I accidentally broke the mood between them and I really am ashamed about that, I mean I have to be careful so I won’t ruin the mood or hindering their date.

I know it was weird for me to think that way, but I personally think that date is something that private and need to be considered so it won’t disturb the others. Moreover, this experience make me believe that love is somewhat dangerous and I’m not ready yet for it, it’s need lots of things to prepare and other factors. Surely this is something that a slow-witted like me can’t afford.

By I Gede Bhisma Griwanasta
For those you aroused by love