Writing III Narative II

To be optimist

Everybody has their own reasons to keep struggling to achieve their dreams or things that they want, they motivated themselves to work the hardest for the sake of things that they had dreamt of for the longest. But  I am afraid to say what I want out loud, I keep it for myself and cowering in fear that I will never be able to achieve anything. I am afraid that people won’t let me to do things that I really want to, especially my father, he has lots of expectations from me as I am his oldest son. I am always afraid that one day I will disappoint him because I am unable to be the person he want me to be, I was someone that you called “pessimistic” since I was only seeing things from negative point of view because of my fear. But then I changed after my encounter with someone special, she encouraged me to try to be myself, she cheered on me when things won’t work as what I had planned, and she also gave me strength to stand still as myself despite of the trials appear before me.

It was back on my days when I was still on my high school; I first met her when I studied about poems at the library. She asked if I like poem and she encouraged me to learn to write good poems, soon I sent several poems and short stories to the wall magazine of my school. She accompanied me to submit my work and it was the most nervous moment in my life, in another chances she help me to find inspiration for my writings. She often read my works and criticize it objectively so I was able to learn from it to overcome myself, she was the very first person who telling me to be brave and I was able to convey  my feelings through my stories appropriately thanks to her.

But things won’t always work well in life, and she was still there to cheered on me. The writings that I submitted wasn’t published because it was over the due date.  I was down and almost give up on my passion, I think that it was useless to be able to write but if I can’t make it fast, but then she slapped some sense to me. She lectured me to learn to accept that there is no one perfect,  she asked me to learn to be more positive and optimist. She showed me lots of good poems that was written by famous poets, the one that I love the most is “La Belle Dame Sans Merci” that was written by John Keats (1819), I tried again and now I pay more attention to the due date, Indeed, one week later the writings of mine was published and my friends were praising me for it, telling me it were good and I have talent. All thanks to her that I get more motivation from my friends, together we form a circle of young writers in my school, a few days later we went on a trip (school trip). I wrote a report about our activities during the trip and it turned good so it was posted in my school’s blog.

My father was one reason that turned me to a pessimistic individual, he is someone dear to me and I don’t want to ended up disappointing him and make him hurt because of that. I ended up following all of my father’s instruction and being a doll so that he will be happy to have me as his son. But that girl made me realize that I could not be like that forever, she taught me to stand up and be myself no matter what the others say. Back then I was originally selected to enter the science major class, but then I gathered up my courage to ask my father to let me switch my major to language major. I decided to switch my major so that I can learn about literacy better than what I had already leant so far, I thought of learning about literature more serious and I already set my heart on it.  I ask my father for his time and talked to him about it, he was furious as I expected but then I stated all of my ideals and beliefs so that he will understand what I really want to achieve. My father finally gave me his permission to switch my major, he only remind me to keep my words to be more serious in study so it won’t disappoint him. I thanked that girl for her helps and she said to me to be more optimist about my own dreams, because I have to choose my own future, I could not speak clearly about myself then how will I lead my life later? She opened my eyes to stand up and speak up about what I truly want.

Human are blessed with so many potentials that goes beyond any prediction about the future, as human you have to believe in yourself and the power within you.  Miracles do exist and their grow stronger alongside with our hopes and faith, you can do it if you believe in yourself and give all you have to struggle against the fate. Trust yourself and keep moving forward

By I Gede Bhisma Griwanasta
For Father, Sisters and All... and 'You'